Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
I got kicked out of my house
Yup, it's true. I got kicked out. I am currently living with my friend in Bozeman but I don't know what I will do for permanent housing. I know that I will be able to find Muslim's who will let me stay with them which is good.
This changes all of my plans. Here's why. OK,so me and my fiance had at one time been broken up for a while. We are obviously back together now but we only got back together becasue the opportunity presented itself and we thought that it must have been what Allah wanted. Now, back when we first met our plan had been that i would go to Egypt and we would get married. That changed because i thought that I would have to go to college to fulfill familial expectations. now, I don't have to worry about those expectations and the chance to go to cairo is here. this must mean that Allah wants me in Cairo and married to Mohamed. In addition to that, since I came out of the homemaking closet (haha) I don't want to go to college. I know that it is an Islamic duty to get an education and I will take classes, maybe just not a full education, you know? I really don't know anymore.
My whole world was turned upside-down. it sucks.
This changes all of my plans. Here's why. OK,so me and my fiance had at one time been broken up for a while. We are obviously back together now but we only got back together becasue the opportunity presented itself and we thought that it must have been what Allah wanted. Now, back when we first met our plan had been that i would go to Egypt and we would get married. That changed because i thought that I would have to go to college to fulfill familial expectations. now, I don't have to worry about those expectations and the chance to go to cairo is here. this must mean that Allah wants me in Cairo and married to Mohamed. In addition to that, since I came out of the homemaking closet (haha) I don't want to go to college. I know that it is an Islamic duty to get an education and I will take classes, maybe just not a full education, you know? I really don't know anymore.
My whole world was turned upside-down. it sucks.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Such a stressful time!
The last 2 weeks have been so stressful. One week ago, I graduated so the week before that was crazy with semester exams and the like and this week my boss decided that I would start to work full time (without even bothering to ask me if I was OK with that!). I have been waking up at 4 am in order to be to work on time. I am so exhausted! The worst part is I have to work tomorrow too and all of next week, no day off for me. No siree. Lame. The worst part is- i forgot to bring my lunch today and the food here makes me sick. I ate literally 5 min ago and i already feel like dying. Ugh!
I wouldn't even be working but I have to save money for my GRADUATION TRIP TO COSTA RICA!!!! Yep, that's right. I'm going to Costa Rica. I am so excited about that. I'm scared too though. I've taken Spanish for 3 years but what if my Spanish isn't good enough? What if I get sick? I've NEVER even flown before, what will happen on the plane? I'm so nervous! I know I shouldn't be worrying myself like this, but I can't help it. I always worry myself, no matter what the subject is.
I am excited too though. I bought a new swimsuit from Al-Sharifa and it arrived yesterday. :) It's so cute! It's navy with pink stipes on it. I love it! I tried it on and it fits perfectly and it's so comfy!
What if i get attacked by a shark and die?
I wouldn't even be working but I have to save money for my GRADUATION TRIP TO COSTA RICA!!!! Yep, that's right. I'm going to Costa Rica. I am so excited about that. I'm scared too though. I've taken Spanish for 3 years but what if my Spanish isn't good enough? What if I get sick? I've NEVER even flown before, what will happen on the plane? I'm so nervous! I know I shouldn't be worrying myself like this, but I can't help it. I always worry myself, no matter what the subject is.
I am excited too though. I bought a new swimsuit from Al-Sharifa and it arrived yesterday. :) It's so cute! It's navy with pink stipes on it. I love it! I tried it on and it fits perfectly and it's so comfy!
What if i get attacked by a shark and die?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Why I wear predominately skirts
Over the last few weeks I have been trying to eliminate pants from my wardrobe for a variety of reasons. So far I still wear pants to work (cause it's part of the uniform) and maybe once or twice a week to school, but inshallah I will stop wearing them entirely soon. I hope that once Mohamed and I are married, he never sees me in a pair of pants.
1) Skirts are so much more modest than pants. In pants, everyone can see the shape of your legs. they can tell how fat/skinny your legs are, they can tell if they are muscular or not, they can see the shape of a woman's private area. Personally, I don't want men to be able to see all of that.
2) Skirts are way more fun than wearing jeans everyday. Jeans and trousers just come in a few styles and colors but you can find skirts in every cut and color imaginable. So much more fun.
3) (i must admit, I am totally stealing this from the blog Feelin' Feminine cause I like it so much!) Skirts are romantic. Wanna know how to kill the balcony scene in romeo and Juliet? Put Juliet in pants. He-he, I had to borrow that one, I just think it's hilarious (and true!)
4)I feel so much prettier in skirts. Jeans are unflattering on me and on many women because they are designed to hug the thighs and curves whereas skirts flow over any imperfections thus hiding them.
Please note that my opinions on modesty, skirts and being a stay at home wife aren't necessarily the Islamic veiw. Being a working wife is allowed in Islam, but it is no better or worse than staying at home. Women have to dress modestly in long and loose clothing and we are supposed to wear a jilbab or abaya over top of the clothes we wear at home, but there is nothing that I know of which says pants are haram. It's just a personal preference. I say that because I am concerned about someone reading this blog and thinking that it is fard (mandatory) for a woman to stay at home and wear nothing but skirts. It's a preference.
In other news, I am about half way done with my first embroidery project! I'm working on a pillowcase that says Sweet Dreams. so far it's looking pretty good, alhumdulilah.I haven't had too many problems with it. So far it's been very easy, there is NO cross-stitching involved thank Allah! (cross stitching is my enemy. It must be vanquished! LOL)
1) Skirts are so much more modest than pants. In pants, everyone can see the shape of your legs. they can tell how fat/skinny your legs are, they can tell if they are muscular or not, they can see the shape of a woman's private area. Personally, I don't want men to be able to see all of that.
2) Skirts are way more fun than wearing jeans everyday. Jeans and trousers just come in a few styles and colors but you can find skirts in every cut and color imaginable. So much more fun.
3) (i must admit, I am totally stealing this from the blog Feelin' Feminine cause I like it so much!) Skirts are romantic. Wanna know how to kill the balcony scene in romeo and Juliet? Put Juliet in pants. He-he, I had to borrow that one, I just think it's hilarious (and true!)
4)I feel so much prettier in skirts. Jeans are unflattering on me and on many women because they are designed to hug the thighs and curves whereas skirts flow over any imperfections thus hiding them.
Please note that my opinions on modesty, skirts and being a stay at home wife aren't necessarily the Islamic veiw. Being a working wife is allowed in Islam, but it is no better or worse than staying at home. Women have to dress modestly in long and loose clothing and we are supposed to wear a jilbab or abaya over top of the clothes we wear at home, but there is nothing that I know of which says pants are haram. It's just a personal preference. I say that because I am concerned about someone reading this blog and thinking that it is fard (mandatory) for a woman to stay at home and wear nothing but skirts. It's a preference.
In other news, I am about half way done with my first embroidery project! I'm working on a pillowcase that says Sweet Dreams. so far it's looking pretty good, alhumdulilah.I haven't had too many problems with it. So far it's been very easy, there is NO cross-stitching involved thank Allah! (cross stitching is my enemy. It must be vanquished! LOL)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
It's almost over!
I graduate from high school in 5 days. First allow me to take a minute or two to scream about how nervous I am for the real world and after that allow me an hour or two to cry about how I'm going to miss my friends!
(3 hours later)
I finally have my life figured out alhumdulilah. I want to be a homemaker. But, I also don't want to have to depend on my husband to support me financially. I mean, he'll pay all the bills and stuff but I don't want to have to wait for his debit card (i mean him, i swear i'm not a gold digger lol jk!) to come home from work in order to take me to the grocery store or do some other equally menial task that I would rather accomplish before he gets home so that we can spend the evening together. I want to be able to earn a little bit of money for myself. I think that in college I will study computer science or something like that so that maybe I can set up some sort of website so that I can earn money but still be at home. In theory, a website wouldn't take up too much time and even if it did, i can multi-task by doing laundry or running the dishwasher while I'm working on the website. Personally, I think that I can run a website and still call myself a homemaker. I'm thinking that maybe I would start a match-making website specifically for Muslims. I'm not sure though. It seems like there are a lot of those. Maybe I'll sell stuff on eBay, i don't know.
I'm also going to study Spanish and Arabic in college so I might give language lessons. That could be fun. I could charge $10 per hour and inshallah make enough money to buy things that I want. I know that it is the husband's duty in Islam to support his wife but I don't want to have to ask Mohamed to buy me anything that cuold be deemed "un-needed (such as clothes, books, and other things like that.) I want to be able to buy those things for myself which is why I want to earn at least a little money but I don't want to actually work outside the home. I feel like I am supposed to be in the home for a variety of reasons. I want to spend my time taking care of Mohamed and the family that we will eventually have. i want to make sure they have a comfortable life. I want to eliminate any need to interact with non-maharam men.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of me saying my shahadah alhumdulilah! I had wanted to do something special in order to celebrate that and I chose to start wearing hijab to work. I had asked my boss a couple weeks before if I would be allowed to wear a religious headscarf and he had said yes so when I went to talk to him again I figured that it would be OK. HOwever, I was so WRONG! Before, I had asked him without a hijab on so he thought that by "religious headscarf" I meant some sort of bandana-like think similar to what orthodox Jewish women wear. Once he saw what I was talking about yesterday, he said that I cannot wear it to work because it is too much scarf for the restaurant. It wasn't even a big one, it was an Amira style hijab that could have easily been tucked into my uniform shirt. I feel that I have been discriminated against because before he knew what I was talking about he was OK with it but then once he found out that it was an Islamic style scarf, he wasn't OK with it anymore. Definitly not cool. My plan is to let him know about the anti-discrimination laws in this country and the laws that say an employer has to accomidate for religious artciles of clothing and if he still doesn't want to let me wear my hijab then I will contact CAIR (the council for American-Islamic relations) and ask them to help me. My hijab has become so important to me both as a symbol of modesty and a symbol of my faith. Everyone at work says it won't work cause I'll be "out of uniform" so it's pointless to do anything but it's a religious garment that I MUST wear. It will work! If I try, it will work inshallah.
In other news, I have 10 days till graduation!! I have 2 words for you- Oh ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10 days! OMG! 10! I"m super excited though. I recieved my graduation present from my mother and grandparents yesterday. It's a GORGEOUS 1 carat saphire ring with a 14 carat white gold band. I'll try to upload a photo inshallah.
I"m really looking forward to this summer. I can't wait to be DONE with high school. I'll be working 2 jobs this summer so that I can afford to go to Cairo in December inshallah. I'm super excited about that. I really hope that I can go. I want to go so that I can meet Mohamed and his family and get to know them better before we get married. Slightly off topic but Mohamed's brother Ragab has agreed to be my wali before the marriage. I also can't wait to go there to buy TONS of cheap abayas and hijabs and niqabs. It'll be so fun.
In addition to working a lot I'm also going to try to get better at cooking and sewing and other things like that. Of course I'll try to during the school year too, but it'll be more convinient during the summer so that I don't have to worry about homework or anything like that. It'll be fun. :)
In other news, I have 10 days till graduation!! I have 2 words for you- Oh ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10 days! OMG! 10! I"m super excited though. I recieved my graduation present from my mother and grandparents yesterday. It's a GORGEOUS 1 carat saphire ring with a 14 carat white gold band. I'll try to upload a photo inshallah.
I"m really looking forward to this summer. I can't wait to be DONE with high school. I'll be working 2 jobs this summer so that I can afford to go to Cairo in December inshallah. I'm super excited about that. I really hope that I can go. I want to go so that I can meet Mohamed and his family and get to know them better before we get married. Slightly off topic but Mohamed's brother Ragab has agreed to be my wali before the marriage. I also can't wait to go there to buy TONS of cheap abayas and hijabs and niqabs. It'll be so fun.
In addition to working a lot I'm also going to try to get better at cooking and sewing and other things like that. Of course I'll try to during the school year too, but it'll be more convinient during the summer so that I don't have to worry about homework or anything like that. It'll be fun. :)
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Post-high school plans, inshallah.
Bismilla eraman erahim
In about 2 weeks I will be finishing high school inshallah.I have a few plans, but not too many. Even though I would much rather be a stay-at-home wife I am going to get a college education for a variety of reasons. First, my family would have heart attacks if I didn't and second because I see women who don't have a college education and who have no skills and I just wonder what they would do if their husband died. How would they provide for their families? Inshallah I will never be in a situation like that but I would rather have a back up plan. I will be attending Montana State University and majoring in pre-medicine and minoring in teaching Spanish. I'm pretty excited about going to college. Inshallah I will get to meet people that have similar values to mine. In addition to Sthe classes required for my degree I will also be taking Arabic classes. Unfortunatly MSU Bozeman doesn't offer a degree in Arabic.
:( It's OK though, I am going to try to go on a study abroad trip sophmore year so I can practice Arabic while studying in Cairo.
I'm really excited to go to Cairo. I might actually try to go there this winter over Christmas vacation too. Why do I want to spend so much time in Cairo? A)because Saudi Arabia won't let a single woman in the country and B)I have a fiance there. His name is Mohamed Aboud. He's a 28 year old doctor in Cairo. We met on a Muslim matromonial site lalst summer. We've been engaged on and off since last Ramadan, but we broke up for a short time this spring. Alhumdulilah we just got back together recently though. My plan is to go to Cairo this winter to see Mohamed and then when I go there for the study abroad trip we can get married inshallah. I am hoping to start wearing full niqab after Mohamed and I get married. He's not making me do it, I want to do it. I want to be sure that no man other than him gets to enjoy me. I might not wear it all the time though, just when I'm around men I don't know. Personally I don't care if my male friends see my face, they are respectful and wouldn't be thinking improper thoughts about me after I get married but strangers might.
As for now, I will just be wearing an abaya and hijab at all times inshallah. And khimars. I have kinda fallen in love with khimars. LOL. I like the idea of no one being able to see my shape at all, even my arms and hands would be hidden from veiw unless I went to reach for something lol.
Anyway...
In about 2 weeks I will be finishing high school inshallah.I have a few plans, but not too many. Even though I would much rather be a stay-at-home wife I am going to get a college education for a variety of reasons. First, my family would have heart attacks if I didn't and second because I see women who don't have a college education and who have no skills and I just wonder what they would do if their husband died. How would they provide for their families? Inshallah I will never be in a situation like that but I would rather have a back up plan. I will be attending Montana State University and majoring in pre-medicine and minoring in teaching Spanish. I'm pretty excited about going to college. Inshallah I will get to meet people that have similar values to mine. In addition to Sthe classes required for my degree I will also be taking Arabic classes. Unfortunatly MSU Bozeman doesn't offer a degree in Arabic.
:( It's OK though, I am going to try to go on a study abroad trip sophmore year so I can practice Arabic while studying in Cairo.
I'm really excited to go to Cairo. I might actually try to go there this winter over Christmas vacation too. Why do I want to spend so much time in Cairo? A)because Saudi Arabia won't let a single woman in the country and B)I have a fiance there. His name is Mohamed Aboud. He's a 28 year old doctor in Cairo. We met on a Muslim matromonial site lalst summer. We've been engaged on and off since last Ramadan, but we broke up for a short time this spring. Alhumdulilah we just got back together recently though. My plan is to go to Cairo this winter to see Mohamed and then when I go there for the study abroad trip we can get married inshallah. I am hoping to start wearing full niqab after Mohamed and I get married. He's not making me do it, I want to do it. I want to be sure that no man other than him gets to enjoy me. I might not wear it all the time though, just when I'm around men I don't know. Personally I don't care if my male friends see my face, they are respectful and wouldn't be thinking improper thoughts about me after I get married but strangers might.
As for now, I will just be wearing an abaya and hijab at all times inshallah. And khimars. I have kinda fallen in love with khimars. LOL. I like the idea of no one being able to see my shape at all, even my arms and hands would be hidden from veiw unless I went to reach for something lol.
Anyway...
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Introductory Post
Asalam Alaikum everyone. My name is Sara. I'm starting this blog in order to record my journey to a life of traditional womanhood, meaning becoming a wife and homemaker, rather than follow a more "prestigious" path that so many people are expected to follow.
First I would like to tell you a bit about myself. I'm 18, I am from Montana, I reverted to Islam about 1 year ago, and my secret dream is to be a housewife. I love thinking about just taking care of my kids and my family. I love the idea of traditional womanhood. Honestly, I think I belong in the Victorian era. I really do.
This blog will cover a variety of topics from arts like needlepoint and cooking to the challenges of learning to be a homemaker. I'm certain that I will throw in other randomtopics that I feel are important every once in a while too. If you've read my other blog, you know I do that a lot.
First I would like to tell you a bit about myself. I'm 18, I am from Montana, I reverted to Islam about 1 year ago, and my secret dream is to be a housewife. I love thinking about just taking care of my kids and my family. I love the idea of traditional womanhood. Honestly, I think I belong in the Victorian era. I really do.
This blog will cover a variety of topics from arts like needlepoint and cooking to the challenges of learning to be a homemaker. I'm certain that I will throw in other randomtopics that I feel are important every once in a while too. If you've read my other blog, you know I do that a lot.
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